so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
