Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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