I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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