in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I think a kid would responsible me up
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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