i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
