I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
