as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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