id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
someone owes me an orgasm
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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