I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I queefed so loud it echoed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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