is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
