I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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