That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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