And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
