How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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