Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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