So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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