Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
