My friends, they love my intelligence
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
