Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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