fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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