i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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