kristin has been a bad kristin
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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