About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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