Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
