So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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