In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
