Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
