Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
