Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
