so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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