all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
