didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
