Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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