Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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