did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
