This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
