youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
