You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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