well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
