he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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