I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
