I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
