This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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