I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
This baby is an asshole
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
