Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
