you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
