I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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