I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
