Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
