Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
