I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
