i think my tv is drunk
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
